


My Sweet Addiction

by Vanya



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Boxer AU, Drug Abuse, M/M, OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-24 23:24:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2600213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanya/pseuds/Vanya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had to leave Ste for his own good. </p><p>Brendan was planning on dying, but when he wakes up in the morgue, the Irishman decides to make a run for it. So he leaves Ste and goes to Ireland. He assumes a new identity as Christian Connolly and starts seeing a young man named Kieran Collie, who helps him get his foot into the boxing ring.</p><p>But the night before his big fight, Brendan gets a call that Ste is in the hospital and has almost over dosed on cocaine. </p><p>Now he has to choose which life he wants. </p><p>His old one, with the love of his life?</p><p>Or the new one he made for himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shots Fired

**My Sweet Addiction**

**Chapter I** **|** **Shots Fired**

 

> What do you expect being shot is like? A ballistic moving tha’ fast out of a barrel? I always imagined it would be hot. Searing hot. So hot that it’s like a knife going t’rough butter, except it’s a piece of metal rippin’ t’rough your flesh.
> 
> It doesn’t really hurt. Not at first but after all the shock fades away, you’re left with this cripplin’ pain. So much pain it makes you pass out. But all you feel at first is this pressure, makes you t’ink that somet’ing might explode inside of you as it rips in.
> 
> You can’t stand. My knees gave in a second. Everyt’ing was spinning around me, then I was just— staring at the sky, watching the police run around me as heat pooled under my back.
> 
> Tha’s all you really feel is heat and pressure.
> 
> I was sure I was dead.
> 
> But I woke up.
> 
> Then the pain came.

 

A gasp slipped out of his mouth as Brendan opened his eyes. Blue orbs looked around trying to figure out where he was and what was going on. But it was dark and there was a sheet over his face. Lifting his hand he pulled the sheet away from his face, then he saw the ceiling of the morgue. Or what he was fairly certain was the morgue. Bren let out an exhale as he sat up, the sudden sharp pain in his shoulder almost sent him back to the floor with a cry.

God that hurt.

Panting softly he pressed his hand over his shoulder and felt that it was stitched. They must have already declared him dead, fixed the hold so he could be buried. Christ that was a terrifying thought.

Brendan threw his legs over the edge of the table and looked over his body. There were some bruises starting to form already from where his father had hit him. From where Walker had hit him.

He was a walking bruise.

Placing his feet on the ground, he took a moment to breath, feeling his body shake. He would fall if he wasn’t careful and that might draw attention. Bren couldn’t go to prison. Finally lifting himself from the table, he held onto it tightly, knuckles going white as he struggled to stay up, but he managed well enough.

Looking around the room, the Irishman found some extra clothes to pull onto his nude body. He almost fell a couple of times getting the scrubs on, but they were finally on. People would be coming in here soon, it was only a matter of time.

For a room filled with dead people the morgue was a pretty busy place.

Brendan mashed his hair down and placed a mask over his face. He wasn’t able to find shoes, but maybe no one would notice. Hospitals were always buzzing, too much going on to pay attention to everyone. So he slipped out of the room, shutting the door and making it around the corner as he heard people coming.

“Now Mr. Hay, we just need you to verify this is him and then you can go.”

_Oh Steven._

Bren squeezed his eyes shut as the doors opened and the lights turned on, only to find an empty room.

“Are you sure he was dead?! What if you were wrong?”

He leaned around the corner to see Ste falling to pieces once again at the thought of him being gone. But he couldn’t stay.

“We’re positive. Someone must have taken his body.”

“But who would do that?!”

Brendan frowned a little and jerked out of view when Steven looked over at him. He had to hurry now before he was seen.

_I’m sorry Steven._

He slipped out of the hospital and back to his home. He gathered up all the money he had in the house, threw on sweats and a t-shirt, pulled his hoody on and got into a cab.

He didn’t take a plane. He had to get a new license and passport. He needed a new name all together. But the boat ride was long enough for him to think of something.

Christian Connolly.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“Chris! Christian! Will you stop, Jesus.”

Bren still wasn’t use to going by the name and often forgot to acknowledge the person talking to him when they said it. He stopped running and looked over at the younger man with the ginger hair. “Kier. What’s up then?” He mumbled as he leaned over his knee’s taking a moment to catch his breath.

“I found you a job.” He said with a bright smile, green eyes shining in the light of the sun just for a moment before he shielded them with his hand.

“You what?” Bren tilted his head up to him as he panted a little harder, smiling as Kieran pulled the inhaler out and handed it over to him. “T’anks. Allergies are killin’ me seriously.” He mumbled shaking it up and taking a breath from it.

Kieran just grinned at him and nodded, taking it back and pocketing it before speaking again. “I got you a job. Said ya wanted ta take yer hand at boxin’ yeah?” The ginger did a cute stance and took a few jabs at the air to enunciate what he was talking about, Bren just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Don’t do that, don’t ever do that.”

The shorter man laughed and leaned over, wrapping his arms around Bren’s neck. “Oh come on. I did good didn’t I? Come on Christiannnnn?” He grinned at him and Brendan stared for a moment before nodding his head.

“Yeah, yeah, you did good.”

Kieran laughed and bounced on his heels, leaning up and planting his lips against the other man’s. “Damn right I did good. C’mon, yer coach is waitin’!”

“Wait— coach?” He asked as he watched the ginger turn and start to run back down the hill. “Kier—Kieran! What coach?!” He yelled, groaning to himself and following after him. “Damn—bloody kid. Kieran!”

“C’mon old man! Want the job er not?!”

Bren stopped dead and so did Kieran, who was smirking at him. “Old? Didja just call me old?”

“Maybe.”

A grin spread over Brendan’s face as he looked over Kieran. “You best run! I’ll show you old!”

The ginger let out a squeak and bolted down the hill with Brendan on his tail. At the bottom, the older man managed to wrap his arms around the thin waist of the other and blew a raspberry against the back of his freckled skin, making Kieran flail and scream with laughter. “No! Christian!! Stop!”

Finally Kier managed to squirm around and plant his lips to Brendan’s, playfully smacking his side. “Get in there. I wanna watch you.”

Shaking his head lightly the brunet did as he was told, releasing the ginger he climbed the steps and went inside.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

Brendan was good at boxing.

Really good at boxing.

And he loved the fact that Kieran encouraged him to work at it. It was really nice to have someone who supported him and helped him like this. He was even on something for his anxiety issues and the chronic pain in his shoulder.

They were both in London, curled up in the bed, watching telly. Bren was dozing, tired from working out all day. He had a championship fight tomorrow. It felt so good to be accomplishing things.

Just as he started to slip off to sleep, his phone started to buzz making him groan.

“Who is it? Christ, it’s almost two in the mornin’ Chris.”

“Et’s probably David, hang on.” He reached over and grabbed the phone not bothering to look at who was calling. “David— ya know, it’s counter-productive ta keep yer fighter awake all night if ya want him to wi—.”

_“Christian Connolly?”_

He paused at the voice, he didn’t know it. “Aye?”

_“Do you know Steven Hay?”_

Brendan sat up and jerked away from Kieran, making him look startled as the dark haired man sat up. “Yes? What’s happened then?”

Kier sat up and placed a hand on his back, soothing it over the smooth skin. “Christian?” Bren just ignored him.

_“He’s in the hospital in Manchester, he almost overdosed on cocaine. Would you come as soon as you can?”_

He swore his heart stopped for a moment as he listened to the person on the other line. ”I— is he—? Is he dead?”

_“No. But he’s not in good condition. Please Mister Connolly.”_

“Yeah—no, yeah, I’ll be there soon.” He let his hand fall to his lap as the call ended, staring forehead.

“Christian? Chris? Love? Talk to me, what’s going on?” Kieran gripped his shoulder a little as he looked over at him. “Please?”

“I—“ He turned and looked over at the ginger.

“I have to go.”


	2. The Hurt That Follows

**Chapter II | The Hurt That Follows**

“Wait—Christian. What do you mean you have to go? You have the fight tomorrow!” Kieran moved to sit up when Brendan pulled himself out of the bed and started pulling his clothes on without a word. So the ginger followed and moved over, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “Talk to me! Christian!”

“Will you stop! I just have to go! My—“ Brendan hesitated on the excuse he wanted to tell Kieran. He couldn’t tell him the Ste was his ex. There was no way he could tell him that or when he came back from making sure Steven was okay, Kieran would be gone. “He’s my brother. Half-brother—They said he overdosed on cocaine, I have to go check on him.”

Bren’s eyes hit the floor as Kieran stared at him, worried he would see through the lie. But Kieran just smiled at him softly, taking his face and giving him a kiss. “Okay. Let me come with you?” The dark haired Irishman opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then closed it and shook his head.

“He’ll be scared enough without strangers there. It’s best I just go. I’ll be back in time for the fight don’t worry.”

Another nod came from the ginger as he kissed Brendan again, pressing his forehead against his. “I love you Christian Connolly.” He whispered with a small grin. The words made Brendan’s heart ache. Kieran really did love him. And here he was lying to him. He deserved better.

“I love you too Kieran Collie. I’ll be home before the fight. If not, I’ll see you at the ring.”

Kieran gave him one last nod before pulling away from him, grabbing his phone, wallet and keys. Brendan stopped at the door, giving Kieran one last glance before he slipped out of the hotel room and down to his car.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

Pulling in, Bren parked his car quickly. He had to take a moment and tell himself that he was okay before opening the care door and getting out of the car. He shoved all his stuff in his pockets and readjusted his beanie as he walked in. Brendan looked around the hospital, feeling uneasy as he looked around at everything.

He took a moment and shook out his hands, they were still shaking, before he went over to the nurse’s station and leaned over the desk. “I’m looking for Steven Hay? I got a call he was here.”

The nurse looked over his fuzzy face and nodded to him as she typed something into the computer. “Brendan Brad—Oh wait—you must be Christian Connolly right?” She asked looking up at him.

“Uh yeah—Brendan was my step-brother. I was good friends with Steven before he died.” The only upside to being a sociopath was how good he was at lying. It didn’t take much and it was so easy to be convincing especially because he knew he was good looking. Charm. Charm is what wins people over.

“Right, he is on the third floor, room 221. Might be sleeping but your welcomed to sit with him and talk with the doctor.”

Brendan let out a soft sigh and nodded to her, patting the desk. “Thank you.” Turning the Irishman got in the lift and went to the floor he was told to. He felt all turned around but after what seemed like he was looking forever he found the room and went inside, shutting the door behind him.

Ste was sleeping, quiet and calm. He had a lot more facial hair than usual so it was evident that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. Swallowing hard the brunet walked over and pulled the chair up, stopping to lean over and kiss his forehead. “Bloody fool.” He mumbled before sitting down.

Taking his hand he stared at it for a long time. Brendan fiddled with his fingers and kissed them. He was somewhere between desperately wanting him to wake up and not.

When the door clicked he released Ste’s hand and looked over, sighing at the sigh of the doctor. He stood and held out his hand.

“Christian I assume?”

Brendan nodded to him and gave his hand a shake before shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, do you know what happened? Is he going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded to him, “Eventually, though we think that it’s very important Mister Hay seek treatment for his addiction. He was very close to dying if his friend wouldn’t have brought him in.”

“Friend?”

“Mmn. Young woman named—“ He stopped and lifted the papers to see who it was before shrugging his shoulders a little. “I don’t know, dark haired girl.”

Bren let out an exhale that he had been holding in. At least he knew it wasn’t Amy. “Alright. Any word from Amy Barnes or his kids?” He asked just wanting to be sure that she wasn’t around.

“You—well Brendan Brady was his emergency contact. But the forwarding message said to call you instead.”

He nodded a little to him. “Yeah— well uh— let us know before you call t’em, eh? We don’t get on well.”

The doctor nodded and smiled at him, “Very well. Are you just going to stay with him? You’ll let me know if he wakes up won’t you?”

Brendan nodded and moved back to his chair. “I will, t’ank ya doctor.” He murmured as he watched the doctor leave the room. Brendan sat down and looked him over. “Steven. You need to wake up.” He whispered as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his hand.

They sat quietly for a long time. Brendan was almost sleeping when his phone started to buzz making him groan as he pulled his hand away and reached for his phone.

> _[ To: Christian_
> 
> _Hey baby, how’s your brother? He going to be okay?_
> 
> _Xoxo_
> 
> _Kier ]_

Brendan sighed a little. Kier was probably just getting up for the day. He hadn’t noticed that the sun was even up yet. Quickly he sent a message back.

> _[ To: Kieran_
> 
> _He hasn’t woken up yet. Going to see if I can stay until he does. We’ll see soon eh? Doctor said he should be fine eventually._
> 
> _Xoxo_
> 
> _Christian ]_

He moved his hand and gently placed the phone down on the side table only to turn and see Steven staring at him with wide blue eyes.

“Brendan.”

The Irishman thought his heart was going to stop in that moment as he stared back at his old lover. Breath completely caught in his chest as he waited for him to scream or something at him. But it never came. He just—stared. Like he had seen a ghost, albeit, Brendan had been pronounced dead, yet here he sat. Fuzzy, longer hair, more muscular than before. But it was still Brendan, even if he fooled the doctors and nurses there was no fooling Ste.

“Don’t go away.” He whispered to him and reached his hand out for his. “I miss these dreams.”

Brendan still couldn’t breathe, but he looked down and raised his shaking hand and placed it in Steven’s, giving him a weak squeeze. “I—erm—“

What did he even say to him? What could he say? His stomach was in a giant knot and it was making him sick.

“I’m sorry, Steven.”

“No—shh dream Brendan. I don’t want to wake up, don’t make me wake up.” He was almost begging to him, and it was breaking his heart, piece by piece. “When you say sorry, you leave. Don’t leave.”

“Steven.” He sighed and leaned forward, gripping his hand with both of his. “I’m not going away. And I’m not a dream, I’m here, really here. I’m not—why the hell did you do this Ste? I just—cocaine?”

“Because I wanted to die. Be with you. I’m weak.” He whispered to him. “I’m weak and I missed you. You were my everything and you went away. And then my mum—and then D-Doug—“ He whispered to him. “Everything I love goes away. Just give me this little bit of time with you before you away again.”

Brendan stood and moved, taking his face in his hands and pressing his lips against his. Hard, desperate. He wanted him to know he was real. Wanted him to now he was really there.

When they parted he pressed his forehead to his and sighed. “I’m sorry—“

“Sorry you’re dead?”

“Sorry that I’m still hurting you. Even when I think I’m doing the right t’ing by leaving you, I just hurt you more and I’m so sorry.”

Ste blinked and tilted his head to the side, gently touching his face, running his fingers through his beard. “Brendan—you really are here, aren’t you? You’re not a ghost?”

He shook his head and opened his eyes to look him over. “No, I’m not.”

Tears started to burn Steven’s eyes as he wrapped his arms around Brendan’s neck, chocking on a sob. “Oh my God.”

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“Okay—I’m going to get your doctor because he has to check you over, remember what I said—“

“You’re name is Christian Connolly. I got it. Promise you’ll explain everything to me after he’s done?” Ste asked from the bed where he was now sitting up a bit more.

Brendan smiled and nodded to him. “Promise. I’ll tell you as much as I can before I have to go.” He turned and walked out of the room waving down the doctor. He came in and they chatted quietly as Bren texted on his phone, until his name was said then he looked up.

“He’ll have to stay here one more day, and then you can bring him home alright? You’re going to be able to take care of him correct?”

He swallowed hard and nodded to him lightly. “Yeah—I—yeah no problem.” He whispered to him as he looked over at Ste, once the doctor left, Brendan was able to exhale softly.

“So—“

He looked up again and nodded to him. “Well—I couldn’t go back to jail, you know that, or I really would be dead. Warren would make sure of that. So when I woke up— I just took off. I didn’t know what else to do, and I wanted to tell you but, it was better you didn’t know. Or I thought it would be.” He sighed again and lowered his head. “Did I mention I was sorry?”

“A few times, you can stop saying it now.”

He laughed a little and leaned over to kiss him softly. Ste kissed him back without hesitation. They only stopped when Brendan’s phone went off again. He sighed a little and pulled away from him, leaning over to get it.

> _[ To: Christian_
> 
> _Match is in an hour! Hope you got some sleep babe! Can’t wait to see you win! I love you._
> 
> _Xoxo_
> 
> _Keir ]_

“Boyfriend?”

“Nah, Coach. I’ve got to head out, my match is in an hour, but I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

Ste smiled at him and nodded lightly as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, Brendan couldn’t help but linger, he wanted more but he couldn’t, he had to go. “Oh… I still love you so much.” The younger man whispered as he looked up at Brendan, soothing his cheek.

“I still love you too.” He pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you.”

> _[To: Kieran_
> 
> _On my way. Love  you too._
> 
> _Christian ]_

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

Brendan ran into the locker room and panted as he worked to get ready. Kieran was wrapping his hands and pulling on his gloves as his coach tied his shoes and shoved the mouth guard in.

He rushed to the door and Kieran grabbed his wrist, yanking him back and kissing him hard. It gained a moan from the older man as he brought his gloved hand up and held the back of his head.

“Praiseach air suas go maith, leanbh.”

“Offta. I love when ya talk dirty.”

“Shuddup.” He laughed and shoved him. “You got this baby!”

Brendan waved a glove at him as he moved and climbed into the ring. He was already pumped. The kiss from Kieran, and the kisses from Ste earlier. God it had been good to see him again. But how was that going to work now?

He couldn’t hurt Kieran like that after all he did to help him, but—he wanted Ste back. He loved him so much more than anything.

Brendan shook his head when the bell rang. He moved out into the ring and fist bumped the other man before the punched started flying. He could hear Kieran cheering for him next to the ring. But he was so distracted. The only thing he could think about was getting back to Ste.

The hit to his face made Brendan tumble backwards into the group with a grunt. There was that fiery temper coming out. He pushed himself up and started throwing hits at the other guy. He brought his hand up and smashed it into his opponent’s, feeling a the bones all shatter at once.

The Irishman wheeled back and gripped his hand to his chest after letting out a cry. His hand was broken.

“Christian! Look out!”

He looked up just in time for the other boxer to slam his fist into his jaw, sending Brendan to the ground with a hard thud. He tried to keep his eyes open, listening as the ref counted to six when the bell was rang that something had happened. He looked up and saw Kieran hovering over him. He was mouthing his name, trying to get him to talk, but Brendan’s eyes shut and he passed out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Praiseach air suas go maith, leanbh.” = "Mess him up good, baby" in Irish


	3. Trapped Between the Lines

**Chapter III | Trapped Between the Lines**

Kieran gripped Christian’s hand as they rolled the stretcher into the hospital. They were going to fast that he was running along with it. But when they got to the A & E he was pushed away from the stretcher.  “Christian! Please!” He was pushed back away from the doors, towards the chairs. “Please! Please just make sure he’s okay, please.” He begged as the nurse pushed him down in the chair.

After that Kieran was left alone, sitting in the chair and fiddling with his bloodied hands as he waited. There was nothing he could do but wait and make sure that he was going to be okay.

Sighing softly he brought his hands up and grabbed his orange hair, rocking in his seat. He had been alone for hours before someone said something to him.

“Excuse me?”

Green eye moved over to a brunet man with an IV stand. “Who are you?” Kieran asked as he looked over at him. Ste shifted a little and moved to hold out a hand to him. “I’m Ste. I uh—I heard Christian was in the A & E.”

“Oh.” He sighed a little and smiled over at him, holding out a hand to shake his. “Kieran Collie. You’re Christian’s half-brother or step-brother. I can’t remember what he said.”

Ste had to chew the inside of his cheek to keep from frowning and giving anything away. Of course Brendan had to lie. He couldn’t tell them who he was or he’d end up in prison. Bren couldn’t do prison. He remembered that from last time.

“Yeah, Ste Hay. Is—Is he okay? Fight went bad?”

Kieran nodded to him as he looked back over at his hands, then the door. “Really bad. I don’t know what was going on with him, it was like he couldn’t t’ink straight. His hand shattered, t’en t’e other guy hit him in the face really hard.”

Ste moved and sat down next to him. “He’ll be okay.” He whispered to Kieran who looked over at him. “I’ve known him for a really long time. There’s nothing so bad, that he won’t come out on top. He’s been to prison, blown up, shot, abused. And he’s survived it all. This won’t kill him. He’ll come back stronger than ever.”

Kier tilted his head to the side and gently placed his hand over his. “T’ank you fer that. You two musta been real close?”

Swallowing hard, he stared at the ginger’s hand over his and nodded. “I know him better than anyone.” He replied, lifting his head up a bit to look over at him. “Definitely my best mate.”

The other man smiled and nodded as he looked over at him. “I love him a lot. It’s nice to talk to someone who knew him before he moved away. Came back to Ireland I mean.”

Ste stared at him and opened his mouth to say something but the door opened and both men looked up. Brendan walked out and smiled at the both of them, cast over his hand. “Hey.”

Kieran pulled himself up and ran over to him, wrapping his arms around him tight. He gripped his shoulder and pressed his lips against Brendan’s. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me, Christian Connolly?”

He nodded absently, staring over at Ste who looked really uncomfortable. “I—Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“You’re okay?” He asked, taking a step back to look him over.

“Aye. Bruise and a shattered hand.” He said raising his left hand that had a cast over it. “Steven?”

Ste looked over at him, giving him a soft smile. “Hey. Alright?”

He nodded a little. “I’m still going to take you home tomorrow. I can’t fight for about six months anyways.”

“Wait what?” Kieran looked over at him and raised a brow. “Whatcha mean?”

“Erm—He needs someone to go home with him. Watch him for a bit get better. Only family he’s got, my place to do it.” Brendan explained, eyes shifting from Kieran to Ste.

“Well—I’ll come with.” The ginger smiled brightly at him and then turned to Ste. “This one can barely take care of himself, especially with a broken hand. He’ll need just as much help as you will. I want to get to know you more anyways, Ste. If t’at’s okay with you?”

He looked slightly panicked at the thought of someone else being there. Not just him and Brendan, like it should have been. Like it should always be. But Kieran was right. With a broken hand he wouldn’t be able to do everything he use to, and if someone wasn’t there to watch him he would only push himself and make everything worse. “I—um… no, I don’t mind. It’s a good idea.” He replied as he looked over at Brendan then lowered his head. “I’m going to head back to my room. Ste turned and started and Brendan felt his heart leap into his chest.

“Wait—Ste I’ll stay with you tonight, Kier, that okay?” He asked looking down at the ginger who nodded to him.

“Yeah. I’ll go home and pack for us. Meet you back here tomorrow.”

Brendan nodded to him and started after Ste, only to stop when Kieran grabbed his wrist.

“Hey—I love you Chris.”

He looked over at him and nodded, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left Kieran there and walked fast after Ste, not even looking back at the ginger. He didn’t want to see the hurt on his face. He knew it was there and he couldn’t bear to know he caused it.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“Steven.” Brendan followed after him into his room, shutting the door behind him as they both walked in. “Steven, please let me explain—“

A glass flew across the room and shattered against the door, barely missing Brendan by a few centimeters. “Whoa! Come on!”

“You lied to me Brendan! You lied! You said there was so one and that—Kieran is obviously in love with you! How could you do that?! How could you tell me didn’t have a boyfriend?!”

“Will you let me explain?!” He shouted back at him stepping away from the glass on the floor, moving over to Ste and gently gripping his shoulders to keep him from walking away from him. “Kier and I are together yeah—“

“I knew it! Brendan, you—“

“Will you shut up and let me finish?!” He snapped and watched as Ste jerked a little at his voice. God that was Déjà vu. Brendan sighed and lightly squeezed his shoulders. “I was never going to see you again. I wasn’t supposed to, I told myself I was done hurting you, I was going to let you move on and find someone you deserved since I couldn’t give it to you.”

“So—what? You tried to replace me?”

“Exactly. T’at’s exactly it. He helped me so much. Got me a flat, took care of me after I was shot, helped me train and get a job. I do love him.” He explained as he looked over Steven’s face before gently pressing his lips against his. “Just not the way I love you.” He whispered as he brought his good hand up to cup Ste’s face. “I would do anything for you. Even going away, just because I t’ought it would help.”

“Brendan… we know that doesn’t though, remember Dublin?”

A small smile slipped across his face at the memory, and when he saw Ste smile too, it made him smile more. “Yes I remember. But this was different. If the police knew I was alive, I was going to prison for life, and I wouldn’t survive. I couldn’t and you know t’at. So I did what I t’ought was best for both of us. And I’m sorry.”

Steven sighed a little and touched his face. “What are you going to do? He loves you Bren.”

The Irishman nodded lightly to him. “I know he does. I need time to—t’ink it over and figure out how I’m going to tell him. Right now we do need him. Because I have to take care of you, but I can’t do it without him. Okay? I’ll tell him after we’re better.”

Ste nodded to him as he looked up at Brendan, lightly touching his face. “Okay. Just—try not to hurt him too much? He seems like a really nice guy.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. He’s very kind. Very sweet. But—I t’ink he’ll understand… or I hope he will.” Brendan sighed a little and kissed him once more, sweet and soft, trying not to make it too heated. He gently patted his side and nodded. “Back in bed with you. Need rest.”

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“I’m uh—I’m living at Brendan’s old place.” Ste muttered from the back seat, looking over at the review mirror. Brendan looked up and quirked a brow.

“What happened to your place?” He asked pulling into Hollyoak village. He felt so tense being back here. But he had everything he needed to prove he wasn’t Brendan. He could lie and say they were twins if he needed to, but he didn’t think anyone would care as long as his license said he was Christian Connolly.

“A bomb went off. Blew the whole thing up. Doug came in to get me out but—more of the ceiling collapsed on us. We passed out and he—he died.”

The Irishman slammed on the break of the car, jerking everyone forward. Kieran glared at him but Bren ignored him and turned to look at Ste. “He died? Steven—I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that.” He frowned a little as Ste shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window. Brendan turned and looked at Kieran. “Doug was Steven’s husband.” The ginger’s face softened a little and he nodded.

He turned in his seat and leaned against it, moving his hand to lay on Brendan’s knee, giving him a soft smile, but it faded when the Irishman pulled his leg away from his hand.

“Sorry, just—gotta remember where it is.” He whispered to him. The ginger only nodded and looked away from him. Brendan was already feeling guilty about it. He looked in the mirror and Ste shook his head at him. The older man sighed a little and looked back at the road as the pulled up, parking the car. Brendan turned it off and reached over to open the door, getting out and looking over at where his club had been, someone else owned it now.

Turning he moved and grabbed the door handle for Ste and let him out before heading to the boot to held Kieran get the bags.

“Christian. Are you okay?”

Brendan grabbed his back and looked over at him. “I—It’s the pain meds, sweetheart. Make an angry man angrier.”

“But you aren’t angry. Are you? Did I do something?”

“What? No—Kier. You’re a lamb.” He said with a soft smile as he touched his face. God he wished he didn’t have to lead him on like this, but he had to make it seem like they were okay why they were here. Why they needed him. So Brendan leaned over and pressed his lips against his softly. “It’s not you. Just need some rest in a bed and then I’ll be feeling better. Come on.” He said with a smile as he took his hand and his bag, heading up the stairs being Ste, Kieran trailing after him.

When they went inside, it was scary how different everything looked. The walls had been painted, no longer the bright pink that Lynsey and his sister had pained them. But he could still remember everything. Every person he had been with. Every kiss, every laugh, every cry, playing games with Deccy and Joel. Cooking with his sister. Finding Lynsey. He covered his mouth and swallowed hard, feeling his eyes burn.

“Christian? Christian what’s wrong?”

“I—erm…”

“It’s Brendan. I’m—I’m sure he just misses him.” Ste piped up as he looked over Brendan’s face, knowing what it really was that was hurting him. It wasn’t his home anymore.

“Yeah—yeah, that’s it. Steven, let’s get you settled, then I’m going to lay down for a while. Kier—I’m sure we need some food and stuff, do you wanna take the car and go get some groceries? We can manage for a little while alone.”

Kier reached out slowly and took the keys from his hand, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Alright. Text me if you need anything. Just an hour or two okay? Maybe I’ll bring home take away, a movie? Ste up for it?”

Steven smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.”

The ginger smiled and kissed Brendan again. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He slipped out of the flat and shut the door. After a few seconds both Ste and Brendan exhaled.

“Do you have to lead him on like that?”

Brendan looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to think of something to tell him.”

“I know he’s a nurse and we do need him, but Brendan—I don’t know. It’s hard seeing you—with someone else.”

“Now you know how I felt with you and Douglas.”

Ste opened his mouth like he wanted to retort but shut it and looked down at his feet. He was right. It probably was how Brendan felt when he was with Doug. Not-so-quietly seething. “Yeah. Alright, fair enough.” He turned and started up the stairs.

Brendan turned and wandered to his bedroom. It still looked the same. Nothing had been taken away or moved and it made him smile a little as he looked through the clothes and CDs. The Irishman moved and flopped onto the bed with a groan, kicking his shoes away. He stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking to himself, only to look up when the door creaked open. He half expected to see Chez. But it was Ste. “Hey. You okay?” Bren sat up and looked over him for a long moment.

The younger man slowly moved over to him, lifting his hand to shift Brendan’s long dark hair from his eyes, then skimming his hand down to his cheek. Blue eyes watched each other’s.

Before Brendan knew what was happening his lips were pressed against Ste’s, arms wrapping around him as he planted himself into his lap. The kiss was just like the ones they use to have. Hard, passionate. Breathtaking.

The kissing escalated to clothes being shed, and both being tangled in the sheets.


	4. Crossfire

**Chapter IV | Crossfire**

 

Brendan opened his eyes and sighed softly as his hand soothed over smooth skin. He turned to look, thinking it was Ste but when he saw the red hair he was slightly disappointed. He had been doing good the last month and half of hiding it from Kieran what was going on between him and Ste.

They couldn’t help it.

It was like they were mostly making up for lost time. Every time Kieran left for work they would be at it. Some times in the middle of the night if the redhead went to bed early. It almost seemed to easy really.

Slipping his arm out from under the redhead, Bren sat up and pulled his feet out of the covers. He leaned over his knees and reached for his boxers, yanking them on before standing and pulling on his robe. Brendan turned and looked over at Kieran, tilting his head to the side a little as he looked him over. Kneeling on the bed, he gently pulled the blanket up over him and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

It made his heart ache a little knowing what he was doing to him.

Sighing a little the brunet turned and walked to the door, opening it and slipping out into the hall. He closed the door behind him and walked into the kitchen, smiling when he saw Ste cooking something.

He looked do much better than he had when they first got back. He had been clean since they came home that day. It helped him, having Brendan to distract him from withdraws, but Kieran helped as well getting Ste on methadone to stop the highs from even working.

“Mornin’.” Ste smiled over at him as Brendan rounded the counter and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

“Morning. What you makin’?” He asked looking over the pan with a pleased hum. “Smells awesome.”

The younger man smiled at him and nodded. “Omelets and hash browns. Should be really good. From the sound of last night you need the energy.” There was a small twinge of jealousy in Ste’s voice that made Brendan’s smile fade. He leaned over and kissed his head.

“I can’t say no to him or he’ll suspect something. Or think I don’t want him anymore.”

“But you don’t—“

“Steven. I told you, I’ll tell him after we’re better. He doesn’t need to know. Not yet.” He replied as he moved away from him, grabbing some plates for everyone.

“I know. But I feel bad for him.” Ste muttered as he took one plate and placed the eggs onto it. “It’ll hurt him more if he walks in on us one day. Knowing you used him. Bren he’ll hate you.”

The Irishman chewed his lip and nodded lightly to Ste. “Maybe it’s better that way.” He whispered and pulled away when he heard the door open. Kieran only looked half awake as he wandered out in his robe, hair all over as he stared at the two by the stove.

“Mornin’ dove.”

“Mmn.”

Brendan couldn’t help but laugh as the ginger grunted to him and went to the coffee machine. Obviously in desperate need of caffeine.

“You work today Kier?”

“Mhm. Seven to seven I t’ink.” He mumbled as he sipped at his coffee with a small sigh.

“Did you want to eat and then go back to bed?” Ste asked turning to look over at the ginger who was rubbing his eyes. “I made omelets and hash browns.”

Kieran smiled a little at him and nodded. “Yeah. I was going to do laundry, but Chris is you could do it, that would be really helpful.”

Brendan nodded to him and smiled over at him. “Sure thing. Need your scrubs all done?”

He nodded and moved to take the plate Ste handed to him, mumbling a small “T’ank you” before moving to sit at the table and eat.

Brendan watched him from where he was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and listening to Ste talk for a while.

He needed to tell Kieran soon. Ste was right. One of these nights they wouldn’t be so lucky and he would walk in on the screwing. It worried him about how Kier would react. He had never seen him hurt or angry. Not really. Scared a few times. But that was it. He was almost always smiling and happy.

Finally pushing himself away from the counter, Brendan went to start on Kieran’s scrubs so he had them for work.

After breakfast Kieran went back to bed, leaving Ste and Brendan to sit quietly on the couch and watch telly together. Brendan was picking at his cast for a while before Ste reached out and took his hand to make him stop.

“Brendan, I really think you should tell him tonight.”

Brendan groaned and shook his head as he stared at the telly. “Steven, I already told you—“

“I know what you said, but Bren, this isn’t fair to him and you know it. Come on, don’t you feel a little bad about leading him on like that? Have some bloody compassion!”

Brendan turned and looked over at Steven, brows furrowing as his eyes narrowed at the younger man. He turned and raised his hand to point at him. “Don’t act like it doesn’t bother me Steven. It does. I hate doing this to him and I wish I could put an end to it now, but I can’t yet. I have no idea how he’s going to react.”

“I swear to God Brendan. You’re such a bloody coward sometimes!” Ste pushed himself up from the couch and walked towards the stairs before coming back, leaning against the arm of the couch. “Either you tell him tomorrow when he get’s home from work, or I’m going to tell him.”

“That’s not fair Ste—“

“We are out of options. That’s how it’s going to be.”

Before Brendan could even reply to him he was up the stairs and out of sight. “Damn it!” He growled throwing his left hand back into the couch, hiding the wood with a gasp. He pulled it to his chest and leaned forward, squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for the pain to fade. He had to tell Kieran in the morning.

No more excuses.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

After Kieran went to work, Brendan laid down. He sat there staring at his ceiling for a long time, trying to think of what he was going to say, how he was going to say it. Trying to gage the reaction he was going to get from Kieran.

It wasn’t working.

All it was doing was giving Brendan a migraine.

Getting up, he walked over to the CD player and fiddled around with it until he got some Johnny Cash playing. He didn’t know how long he had been thinking about this but it felt late.

A small knock from the door caught his attention and he looked over to see Ste standing there. “So?”

Brendan bit his lip and looked down at his feet, looking over his tattoos. “I’m going to tell him tomorrow. Promise.” He replied looking up at Steven who’s face softened a little. This was hard for Brendan and he knew that.

Walking over to him, Ste gently cupped his face. “You know this is the right thing to do right?”

Brendan nodded to him and leaned his face into Ste’s hand and nodded to him. “Yes I know, but t’at doesn’t make it any easier.”

The younger man nodded to him and leaned up to gently press his lips over Brendan’s. “I can make you feel better if you like?” He offered with a small smirk in Brendan’s direction.

The smile was contagious and he smirked back at him, nodding a little. He needed a good distraction and after tomorrow morning he didn’t know how “in the mood” he would be for sex.  

Gently grabbing the front of his shirt, Ste pulled the Irishman down for a kiss, starting to pull him towards the bed. Brendan followed willingly, letting the younger man hit the mattress first before climbing over the top of him.

The kissing was heated and deep. This was going to be rough. Not that either really minded. Brendan loved the noises that he could get out of Steven.

Warm hand slid under Brendan’s shirt and made him gasp, pressing his forehead against Ste’s with a small grin. “I love you.”

The smirked was still on Ste’s face as he listened to the words, pulling at Brendan’s shirt to toss it away from him and the bed.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” He whispered back to him as things got more heated.

Clothing was all shed and tossed to the floor. Soon enough moans and the voice of Johnny Cash were the only thing that filled the flat. It drowned out all noise, even the sound of the door opening and Kieran walking in.

The bedroom door swung open. “Christian! It’s our anniversary, I didn’t notice until I got to work and saw it was the seventeent—“ He stopped dead as the light flipped on and he stared at the two men in the bed, mid-relations.

Brendan panted and turned to look over at him, watching as Kieran’s face fell, tears brimming on the edge of his green eyes. “Oh Kier—“ He gently pulled away from Ste, who rolled to see Kieran standing in the door way, looking like someone had just punched him in the stomach.

“You… Christian, how could you—“ He moved out of the door way and Brendan hopped out of bed, grabbing his boxers to yank them on, running after him.

“Kier! Kieran!”

Ste covered his face and rolled on his back, furrowing his brows. This is what he had been so afraid of.

Brendan followed the ginger outside and grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Kieran! Let me explain please!”

“No! You get off of me!” He yelled trying to pull away from Brendan’s firm grip, crying out when he yanked his arm to bring him closer.

“Listen to me! I was going to tell you! I didn’t want you to find out this way!”

“Well good fucking job Christian!” He yanked his wrist again with a small cry. “I don’t want to know anyt’ing! I helped you so much and t’is is t’e t’anks I get! You’re fucking him in _our_ bed! On _our_ anniversary! How fuckin’ could you?!” He yelled finally bringing his hand up and slapping the Irishman across the face.

Brendan let go of his wrist, but his instinct took over and he slammed his fist into Kieran’s face, sending him to the ground with a yell.

“Brendan!”

It was like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs when he realized what he had done. Hearing Ste yell his name he snapped out of it, turning to look back at him. “I—“ The older man turned to Kieran who was leaning against the wall, holding his bleeding mouth. His sobs made Brendan’s chest hurt and he moved to kneel near him. “Kieran—Kieran I didn’t mean to hit you—I’m sorry I just—“

“Dun fockin’ touch meh!”

The ginger shoved him away so he landed on his butt and stood up looking down at him and then up at Ste, trying to wipe his eyes free of tears. “I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on. I don’t care.” He spit down at Brendan, wiping his mouth. “I hate ya bot’.” The ginger ran down the stairs and the sound of the tires squealing out of the village followed.

Brendan and Ste were left in silence.

Brendan had hit Kieran and Ste had seen it.

Neither knew where to go from here.


	5. Damaged Beyond Repair

**Chapter V | Damaged Beyond Repair**

“Brendan—“

He had been sitting on the ground for the last half hour after slamming his fist into the concrete a few times to make sure all of his anger was spent but now he was just staring at his bloodied knuckled.

Ste moved over and gently tugged at his arm. “Come on, you’ll get sick if you stay out here in the cold. Come on.”

Brendan finally looked up and nodded to him, pulling himself to his feet and walking back into the house. Ste nudged him to go sit on the couch as he shut and locked the door, latching the chain as well. “Sit, I’m going to get something to clean your hand.”

“Okay.” He muttered a little and did as he was told, sitting down on the couch, flexing his knuckles a little to make sure they weren’t broken. That’s all he needed was both hands busted. He looked down at the table and spotted his phone. Reaching out he grabbed it and started to send a message.

> _[To: Kieran_
> 
> _I’m so sorry. I am. For everything. I didn’t mean to it you, it was just reflex, you should know that. It’s not an excuse, there was no excuse to hurt you but—I’m really sorry, please, please be careful as you drive. Don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to find out you got killed in a car accident and know that it was my fault._
> 
> _I can’t deal with anymore blood on my hands._
> 
> _Christian]_

He placed his phone down, just as Steven came back and sat down near him. “Did he text you?” He asked as he gently took Brendan’s hand, gently dabbing it with a wash cloth.

“No, I send him a message. Told him I was sorry, that it was a reflex, not that that’s an excuse—ouch.” He muttered and tilted his head to see what he was doing.

“Sorry—“

“S’okay. I also asked him to be careful and not do anything stupid. I don’t want him crashing and find out I killed another person.” He winced again as he looked down at his hand.

“I don’t think it’s broken, maybe bruised the bone.” He whispered as he looked over at him. “Brendan, you know you’re taking blame for deaths you didn’t cause right? Joel pushed his dad, he killed him not you. I saw you when you came back from the fight with Walker. That was self-defense. He would have killed you if you hadn’t killed him. And you didn’t shoot Seamus. Cheryl told me.”

Brendan looked over at him and tilted his head a little to the side. “Cheryl told you?” He whispered to him as he looked back down at his hand that Ste was wrapping a bandage around.

“She said you were going to take the blame because you didn’t want to stop her from getting her happy ending. But what about us? What about our happy ending Brendan? I thought you died. I mourned for you, I started drugs because I couldn’t deal with everything that I was feeling and then everyone around me kept dying and I—“

Brendan reached over and grabbed his face, pressing his lips to his. He held him for a long minute before pressing his forehead against his. “I’m sorry. I know… I know we were so close Steven and I’m so sorry. But she was my baby sister. She deserved it more than me.” His voice was soft as he brushed his fingers over his cheek. “It doesn’t mean we can’t have it now.”

“No.”

“No?”

He watched as Steven pulled away from him and shook his head a little. “I can’t until you fix things with Kieran. Tell him to his face that you’re sorry. Make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Brendan I saw that old piece of you come through tonight and that scares me. I can’t love you when you’re like that. I told you that before. I can’t trust you when you’re like that. I know he hit you first but… I can’t be with you until this is settled.”

Brendan frowned and opened his mouth to say something when his phone buzzed. He looked over and picked it up when he saw it was from Kieran.

> _[ To: Christian_
> 
> _If you want to apologize meet me at Dog, or whatever the fuck it’s called. I’m not drunk—yet. So hurry up._
> 
> _Kier ]_

“That him?”

Brendan nodded and pulled himself up, handing Steven the phone. “He’s at the Dog. I’ll go over and talk to him, make sure he’s okay.” Brendan dressed as quick as he could before coming back and looking over Steven who was reading his phone. “Are you going to be here when I come back?”

Ste looked up at him and tilted his head before nodding, handing the phone back. “Just because I said I can’t love you when you’re like this, doesn’t mean I don’t want to. So yes I will be here.”

Brendan smiled and cupped the back of Steven’s neck, pressing his lips to his forehead. “I love you. I’ll be back in a while. Get some sleep.”

He nodded a little and watched as Brendan walked out the door. Ste moved and locked the door, leaving the chain unhooked. He hoped that they would be able to figure this out without the police getting involved. Brendan had almost died so he didn’t have to go to prison, he didn’t want all of that going down the drain now.

Unlocking the door, Ste walked out and leaned over the banister. “Brendan!” The Irishman stopped and looked up at him. It made Ste hesitate. “I love you too. Be careful.”

Brendan smiled at him and nodded, before heading off towards the dog again.

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“Kieran?” Brendan looked around the dog. Darren was staring at him like he had seen a ghost but what did he expect really. “Kieran?” He called walking in a bit farther.

“Christian, over here.”

He turned and saw him in a dark corner alone, bottle on the table and two empty glasses. The older man walked over and slid into the opposite booth, looking him over. “Did I mention I was sorry?”

Kieran shook his head. “Don’t. I don’t wanna hear it Chris.” He mumbled and poured them both a drink before his green eyes moved up to Brendan’s blue ones, staring at them for a long time like he was trying to figure out if he was looking at a man or a monster.

“Or should I say Brendan?”

All the air was sucked out of his lungs a moment as he stared at the ginger in front of him. “I don’t—I don’t know what you’re talking about Kier.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I heard Ste call you that. Brendan.” They stared at each other for a moment before moving and pointing at him. “Here’s how this is going to go, I want you to tell me everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Who you are, who Ste is, what else you’re hiding, why you—why you pretended to love me? I want to know all of it. Or I’m going to the police.”

Brendan swallowed hard as he stared at him. “You don’t have to do that Kier… please don’t, I can’t go back to prison.”

“Then you best start talking Brendan. Clocks ticking. Tick tock.”

Blue eyes widened a little as he looked over Kieran. His words. Those words. “Why did you say that? Why—“

“I’ll tell you, after you tell me what I want to know.”

Brendan swallowed hard. “Where do you want me to start?” He whispered to him, grabbing his glass and took a small drink.

“How about your name, and where you were from. Family.  You get it.”

“My name is Brendan Seamus Brady, I was born November 15th 1980 in North Dublin. My mother is dead and so is my father. I have a half-sister named Cheryl, but I don’t know where she is, that’s okay thought because I know she’s happy.” He spoke in a hushed tone and fast as he took another drink, nodding for him to fill up his glass again, which Kieran did. “I was married for ten years to a woman named Eileen, I have two boys with her, Declan and Padraig, we also had a girl Niamh who died at birth.”

“But—you’re gay.”

“I am. But I hid it. I was really ashamed for a long time because of—some stuff that happened when I was young.”

Kieran nodded. “So what ended your marriage?”

“Me, she found out I was cheating on her. Can here to start working at my sister club. That’s where I met Steven.”

“Were you together the whole time?”

Brendan shook his head no. “Off and on. I was different back then, really violent… more violent than you’ve ever seen me. I was selling drugs to pay for Deccy’s medical bills. Eileen was pressuring so I had to.”

“You said you couldn’t go back to prison, why were you there?”

He chewed his lip a little as he watched Kieran, trying to figure him out. Why did he want to know all of this? Was he a cop and he didn’t know it? Or was he with Walker somehow?

“Someone framed me for murder.”

“Have you ever killed someone?”

Swallowing hard, Brendan shifted and leaned over the table. “Why do you want to know Kieran? You’re making me very nervous by asking me all these questions.”

“So you have?”

“Stop it. Tell me what’s going on.”

Kieran downed his drink as he sat back against the booth. “Did you actually love me Brendan? We were together over a year. Please. I need to know.”

The older Irishman sighed and leaned his head down before nodding to him. “I did love you Kier. Just—just not the way I love Steven. We’ve been through so much Kieran. Him almost dying, me almost dying, I stood in front of a gun for him, I was ready to take a bullet for him. I stood by and watched him marry someone else, both of our kids were taken away. I told him about my father and we were so close—“ He frowned and shook his head as he looked at Kieran.

“We were so close to being happy Kier and my father ruined everything. Walker ruined it. He send Cheryl a video of my dad confessing and she came in when he was hurting me—I think he would have done more than just hit me if she wouldn’t have shot him. But I took the blame for her because I had ruined her life enough as it was.”

Kieran stared at him for a while, his face had softened a little as he looked at Brendan. "Thank you for telling me.” He whispered as he stood and pressed a small kiss to his lips, “I wish I would have known sooner though.”

“What?”

Kieran gave a sad smile and took a step back. “I’m sorry Chris.” He backed up more as the doors all slammed open and police came rushing in, pointing guns at him. 

Brendan put his hands behind his head and looked over at Kieran. “How could you?”

“I’m sorry Chris, I am.” He replied as he started wiping his face free of tears. “I’m sorry.”

One of the officers moved and turned Brendan around pulling his hands down and cuffing his wrists. “Christian Connolly you’re under arrest for assault, anything you say can and will be used against you, do you understand?”

Brendan didn’t say anything as he was yanked out of the pub, all the people staring at him as he went. He could hear Kieran following after them, only to be stopped at the door by two officers. “Christian, I’m sorry!”

Brendan ignored him and looked up, seeing Ste running towards him. “No! No, don’t take him! He didn’t mean it please!” He was fighting against the officers as they shoved Brendan into the car.

_So close—_

_This just isn’t meant to be._


	6. They Always Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to hit the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever to update. Things have been bad on my end. Next chapter will be better. Promise.

**Chapter VI | They Always Come Back**

“Ste! Ste please! Please, stop and let me explain! Steven!” Kieran moved and grabbed at his wrist, only to have him yank away from him and turn. His fist came up and slammed into Kieran’s face, sending him back a bit as he took a moment to collect himself.

God his hand hurt now! How could Brendan do that without feeling it?!

Ste moved and grabbed Kieran by the cuff of his scrub, pressing him against the metal bars near the ledge. “How could you do that?! How could you call the police on him?!”

“I’m sorry!” He screamed at Ste making him recoil a bit. “I’m sorry—I wasn’t going to at first, I wanted to know what was going on, but this guy—I was sitting in the Dog drinking and waiting for Chris to get there and he came over and  started talking to me. He told me that I shouldn’t let him get away with it and I was just so upset Ste—“ The ginger rambled quickly lifting his hand to press against his bleeding nose as Ste pulled away from him.

“Shut up for a minute.” Ste blinked a little like he was trying to wrap his head around what was going on, what Kieran had just said. “Who was talking to you Kier—what did he look like? Did he tell you his name?”

“I—I don’t know. Blondish—tall? Walked like he had a prosthetic leg. I—“

“What was his name?!” Steven was on edge now. He felt bad for screaming at Kieran like this but he was sure he knew who this was.

The same person who ruined everything last time everything was torn apart.

“Simon! He said his name was Simon Walker.” Kieran was panting softly, pressing his hand against his mouth where Ste had hit him. “Ste, I’m sorry—“

“Quiet, this is bad, worse than you could have ever imagined, we need to go to the station. You have to tell them it was a misunderstanding. You hit him first anyways got it?”

Kieran nodded to him and moved to start down the stairs. “Ste—What’s going on?” He asked and stumbled a little as Steven pushed him forward.

“Brendan will explain, right now we need to get him out. He doesn’t do well in prison.”

Ste made sure that Kieran stayed next to him as he walked with him to the police station. “Now you’re going to go in and tell them you want to drop the charges you hear me. Tell them what happened, you hit him first, he was just reacting.”

Kieran nodded to him and rubbed his arm lightly as he looked over Ste. He looked like such a scared little kid at the moment and it made Steven soften a little.

“Kier. I’m sorry for being mad, but this is a big deal. Okay, that guy who talked to you is really dangerous. It’s not safe for us to be out here without Brendan.” He moved his hands and gently gripped his shoulders. “Do you want me to come with you?”

The ginger shook his head a little as he turned to head back into the police station. Ste moved and sat down on one of the stone walls as he waited for them.

It felt like forever. He was so tired from not sleeping all day, but his adrenaline was still so high from everything that happened that he wasn’t even going to try to rest until he had Brendan back at home with him.

Hell if he had to, they would pack up and go back to Ireland. At least they would all be safe there from him.

Letting out a sigh, Ste leaned against his hand, closing his eyes for a moment as he waited. Then the sound of the door opening made him look up, there was Brendan walking out, practically running over to him. Ste managed to stand up just in time and wrap his arms around him tightly, gripping his hair as he did. “Oh—oh Brendan. Are you okay?” He whispered as he soothed his hair, looking past his shoulder to see Kieran. He gave him a small smile and a nod of thanks.

“Let’s get home please. I don’t want to be out and about. We’ve got a lot to go over.” Brendan whispered to him.

Ste nodded in agreement as he pulled away, taking his hand and following him. “Kieran, come on.”

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

“Brendan? Bren? Are you sure you’re?” Ste asked as he followed into the flat last, shutting and locking the door behind him. He watched as Brendan moved around the house and checked to make sure that no one was in there with them.

When he was sure that no one had been in there, and that everything was locked and safe. He took a moment to breathe, though it seemed a little labored. Kieran moved towards him, grabbing the inhaler from the drawer and holding it out.

Ste wanted to yank him away for his own good, but he didn’t. He needed to see that Brendan had changed, trust that he wouldn’t hurt him. He needed to know so they could try this. Try to get it right this time. He was sick of people fucking up their lives.

The Irishman looked to Kieran as he held out the inhaler. He wanted to grab him, shake the daylights out of him, but he looked genuinely sorry.

And quite innocent.

Kier was just a kid. He didn’t deserve that.

It wasn’t his fault.

He hadn’t known who he was talking to until someone told him.

Brendan couldn’t bring himself to hurt him. The brunet just sighed and took the inhaler, muttering a thanks to him before taking to two puffs. Blue eyes turned to watch Kieran step away and sit down on the farthest seat from him and Ste walk over. His body relaxed at the feeling of the hand on his spine.

Ste always had a way with him.

Whenever he felt like he was going to lose it, all it took was a touch, a kiss, some kind words and he was back to being okay.

The Irishman stood up and moved, taking Ste’s hand to pull him to sit down with him. Brendan sat on the edge of the other couch, leaning against his knees. He didn’t say anything or even look at Kieran for a long time. It was almost like he was trying to figure out where he wanted to begin with his questions.

“I need to know, who you talked to, what he looked like and everything, where, and what they told you Kier. Because if I’m right about who this is, you’re not safe.”

Kieran looked nervous but also upset knowing that he had been so easily manipulated by someone. “He said his name was Simon Walker. Met you a few years ago, you were together a while and then—I don’t know, it ended or something, he didn’t tell me everything Christian—I only talked to him for about ten minutes before you got there.” He replied as he looked over at him. “He told me you weren’t who you said you were. That you were a drug dealer and a murderer.”

Brendan sighed a little and stood up, going back towards the kitchen.

“Chris—I didn’t—I didn’t know. I was so mad about everything but—I never wanted to hurt you. Not like this.”

Ste looked between them, pulling himself up and walking over to Brendan, gently touching his back. “Brendan. What are we going to do? We’re not safe if he’s back. He’ll kill you this time.”

The Irishman swallowed hard and looked over at Steven. “I don’t know.” He whispered. “Walker’s like one of those horrible serial killers. Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy.” He muttered and looked out the window to the street, trying to see any figures.

There were none of course.

“What are you saying Bren? I don’t get it.”

“They always come back Steven. Each time it gets worse and worse. More people die each time. We’re in a lot of trouble.”


	7. Ripping Me to Shreds

**Chapter VII | Ripping Me to Shreds**

Brendan didn’t sleep well that night. He was too busy watching the door, jumping at every noise. When he did sleep it was constant nightmares of waking up and finding the bodies of the two people who still cared about him. Both shot to death. He would then feel the barrel against his scalp, only jerking awake when the gun went off.

By the morning his jaw hurt like hell from grinding his teeth all night. Pulling himself up from the couch, he was careful not to disturb Ste as he moved into the kitchen. He took a moment to collect himself before a hand touched his shoulder.

Brendan reacted the same way he always did when he was under stress.

Reaching out he grabbed the hand that had touched him and twisted it around, pinning the owner to the wall in front of him before seeing red hair. He had to stop himself and pull away, pressing his back into the counter.

“Dammit Kieran. You gotta stop doing t’at to me.”

The ginger turned and rubbed his arm as he stared at Brendan. “I feel like I should leave. I got you into this whole mess, wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t have to worry about me and Ste?”

The older man stared at the floor for a long moment. He was so stressed but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about Kieran. He didn’t want something to happen to him if he went off on his own. Walker knew now.

He knew that Brendan cared about this young man, just as he had cared about Ste.

“Some of this is my fault. Some of it’s your’s Kier. But no I don’t want you to leave. Just—stay here so I can protect you.” He replied as the brunet pushed himself away from the counter to go to the bathroom. He needed a shower. Only to be stopped by a hand grabbing at his wrist.

“Chri—Brendan… did you ever really love me? Really? I just—I want you to be honest.” Kieran was stumbling over his words as he looked over at Brendan. His green eyes were bloodshot. Sore looking from spending most of the day before and last night crying. There were bruises on his pale face from being hit. Not only by himself but from Ste too.

“What do you mean? Honest?”

“I mean, did you love me—or was I just a replacement until you got Ste back?”

Brendan kept his eyes away from him for a long moment. “Honestly?” His blue eyes moved up and looked up at Kieran, who nodded to his question.

“Yes.” He mumbled as he watched the ginger’s face fall. “You were there. You’re the same age as Steven, acted the same. I used you to help me cope with never being able to see him again. It worked for a while, and I t’ink if I wouldn’t have ever seen him again I would have loved you like you deserved.” He paused as he gently pulled his wrist away from his hand. “Tha’ what  you wanted ta hear?”

Brendan walked off to the bathroom and shut the door.

Kieran stayed where he was for a long moment, staring at the bathroom door and listening to the shower run. He knew that was the answer before he ever asked the question.

He didn’t blame Brendan.

How could he?

But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Finally the ginger willed himself to move and headed away from the kitchen to the from door. He looked it over before undoing the locks and slipping out of the room to the outside landing.

He only made it down the stairs before a hand wrapped around his mouth and his neck. There was the urge to scream, but he didn’t get it out before his head was bashed into the brick wall and everything went dark.

Ste woke when the door opened, blinking his eyes as he tried to adjust his vision to see who was hovering over him. “Kieran?” He whispered softly as his vision unblurred and he saw who it was. “No— Brend—!”

A hand covered his mouth and he was yanked to his feet. Steven wasn’t going out without a fight. He kicked his foot back but missed. The man’s hand was wrapped around his mouth to keep him quiet, the other was wrapped out his waist and attempting to pull him out the door.

Ste bit down on his hand and the man yelled shoving him forward into the coffee table. It smashed under Ste and he groaned softly at the feeling. “Brendan!” He tried screaming for the Irishman again as the man grabbed him, yanking him back to his feet.

Bren came running when he heard the table smashing. He was in a pair of sweats and his hair was still wet from the shower. “Steven!” He started towards the man who had him, but there was a sharp blow to the back of his head that sent the Irishman tumbling to the ground.

“Brendan! Bren!”

His vision was starting to blur, darkness invading on the edges. The man who had hit him with the bat leaned down with a grunt, looking over his face with a small twisted smile.

 “Hello again, Brendan. Have a good little rest; you’ll need it for when you get up again.”

He reached out and gripped his chin to make him look at him as he leaned in.

“Tick tock.”

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

The irritating beeping was making Brendan’s already sore head. He pushed himself up from the floor and looked around at the mess. The table was broken and the door was wide open. Both Kieran and Steven were gone.

He managed to lift himself with the aid of the couch, trying to find some sort of clue to where they had been taken. He remembered seeing Walker but was it really him?

How the fuck could he still be alive?!

Brendan had kicked him in front of a train.

God, that memory never went away and he always had nightmares about it.

The buzzing of his phone made him shake his head free of his thought. Bren scrambled for the table and grabbed it, looking it over with shaking hands. For a moment his vision wouldn’t focus, but when it finally did, he could read it again.

> _[ To: Brendan_
> 
> _7380 Industrial Dr._
> 
> _You have twenty minutes.  ]_

It was from Steven’s phone and it meant that Walker had it, of course manipulating the situation like he always did. Brendan placed the phone down and moved to grab his shirt and boots, yanking them on along with his jacket. He paused at sound of his phone buzzing again. Brendan moved and grabbed the phone.

> _[ To: Brendan_
> 
> _Is it better to have loved and lost or never loved at all?_
> 
> _Tick tock. ]_

Inhaling sharply the brunet bolted out the door and headed over to the industrial drive. He pushed himself hard so he could get there in time.

Twenty minutes and it was a ten minute run. But finally he had made it to the address he started banging on the door trying to get them to open. “Steven! Kieran! Are you in there?!”

_“Brendan! We’re in here!”_

It was Ste’s voice.

Taking a step back the brunet looked around and found the door, slamming his shoulder into it hard, making him groan. His head was swimming from the hit he took earlier, but he wasn’t going to let this happen. Finally he was able to bash his way through the door in, literally falling inside with a grunt.

Taking just a moment to catch his breath he pushed himself upwards from the floor and ran over to where Steven and Kieran were.  They were chained to chairs, side by side.

“Brendan! Don’t touch anything yet!”

Ste warned as he looked up at him, then over at Kieran who started to explain.

“T’ere’s a bomb. Only enough time to get one of us out. You have to get the key and get Ste out of here—“

“Kieran, that’s not what we agreed!”

“I don’t care! He’s got three minutes to get out or we’re all dead!” Kieran looked over at Brendan and nodded to his hips. “Key’s in my pocket, hurry up.” Brendan stood there for a moment and just stared at him, jumping when he shouted at him. “Now Bren!”

The Irishman moved and dug in his pocket to get the key and went over to Steven and started unlocking him. He tossed them away from grabbed in his pocket for the key to Kieran’s locks. “I’m not going to let you die in here Kier, you’re only twenty-four—“

“Christian.”

He paused as he looked at the ginger. “Yes?”

“You’ve only got a minute love. Get out of here.”

“Kier— No, I can’t—“

“I said go! Please, if you love me even a little bit, you’ll go—“

Brendan stood there staring at him until Steven started pulling at his arm to make him leave.

“I’m sorry—“ He whispered to Kieran as he started to back out of the garage. The ginger just smiled at him and nodded lightly.

“I know.” He sniffled and closed his eyes, leaning his head down.

_“Even t’ough I walk t’rough the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For you are wi’h me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”_

Brendan and Ste had barely made it away from the building before it blew. They were both tossed to the ground, Brendan using himself as a human shield as he turned to watch as the building was engulfed in flames.

“Oh Kier—“ He whispered, feeling his eyes burn as he watched.

_I’m so sorry._


	8. Revenge Brought Us Here

**Chapter VIII | Revenge Brought Us Here**

 

“Kier—“

Brendan stumbled as he pulled himself up from the ground, Ste following after him quickly.

“Kieran!”

He shouted against as he moved towards the burning building, barely managing to stumble over his feet. A mix of grief and shock flowing through his veins.

Arms wrapped around the Irishman’s waist and yanked him back away from the blaze. “Bren no— he’s gone…” He whispered as he weakly pulled the larger man back a few feet.

But it didn’t stop Brendan and he tried to go forward again, trying weakly to pull out of Steven’s arms.

“No—Let me go—Let me try to get him—Steven he could still be alive, please—!”

He took a few steps forward again before they both crumbled to the ground.

“He shouldn’t be dead Steven, Kier was a good person he didn’t deserve to die like t’at!” He shouted and attempted to push the younger man away, but Ste didn’t let go.

He needed to hold onto Brendan as much as Brendan needed to be held right now. “I know he didn’t Bren… I know. But listen to me.” He replied as he moved to take the brunet’s hand in his face.

“He did this for us, you understand? So we all didn’t die. We need to get out of here Brendan, run away, so he just— He’ll never stop. We know he’ll never stop. Why stay here?”

Brendan stared at the ground for a while before he felt hands on his face. He lifted his blue eyes to look up at him.

“Please Brendan. Let’s just run.” Steven’s face was soft as he watched Brendan’s face harden.

The sociopath that he had feared for so many years was slowly awakening again.

The look alone was enough to make the younger man release the Irishman all together.

He watched as Brendan stood, his left hand moving from his forehead to the middle of his chest, then to the right and left of it before lifting his cross and pressing a kiss to it. It was his way of honoring Kieran. Thanking him for what he had done.

But Ste could already tell it wasn’t going to end there.

“T’is will never be over until one of us is dead. Really dead. Dead for good. I’m not letting him go again. I’m not running away.” He looked down at Steven as the young man slowly pulled himself upwards.

“I’ve been running my whole life. _Hiding_ my whole life. No more hiding, Steven. T’is ends now. For good.” Brendan took a step back and turned away starting to walk away from Steven.

“Brendan! Wait—!” He ran after him and grabbed his wrist to stop him from walking so they could speak.

“What are you going to do? Last time you kicked him in front of a fucking train and it didn’t kill him!”

“I’m gonna be t’e old me Steven.” He replied as he pulled his arm away from him. “One way or anot’er, he’s dead this time. I will make sure he stays dead even if it fucking kills me.”

He started to walk away from him again, leaving Ste standing there, the blaze still burning madly behind.

“I’m endin’ t’is now!”

Ste swallowed hard as he watched Brendan walk away. He was determined to kill Walker.

_Even if it fucking kills me._

“I’m not letting you die on me again.” He mumbled to himself, turning for one last look at the burning warehouse. “I won’t let him kill himself Kieran. Promise.”

~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~ .:. ~  ~ .:. ~ .:. ~~ .:. ~ .:. ~ ~ .:. ~

Brendan limped back up to the flat, growling as he ripped off his cast and tossed it away. He had all but set them back into place on his own; he didn’t need the stupid cast.

The Irishman looked around the flat for his phone, “I know I left it here, but where—“ He mumbled to himself until he finally caught sight of it. Walker still had Steven’s phone, so that was the number he would call.

Pressing the send button Brendan pressed the phone to his ear and waited for an answer to come.

Which he knew it would.

It had to, because they weren’t done playing this little game of his.

The line clicked when Walker finally answered. There was a silence for what seemed like hours but was in reality just a few moments.

_“So you aren’t dead. That’s disappointing. Which one died? Which one did you choose? The little Irish nurse or your sweet little addiction?”_

“I’m gonna kill you. Really kill you t’is time.”

_“Oooh, taking it personally. Sweet addiction it was. But then again it’s always him isn’t it? It will always be him. “Until the day I’m in my grave, you’ll be in my head.” You’re so sentimental sometimes Brendan, it’s a little sickening. Still— that boy was only twenty-four years old Brendan, not much older than your Steven, and you let him die. What’s a little more blood on a murderer’s hands?”_

Brendan felt his jaw clench and the familiar pain from the night before came flooding back. “I’m gonna kill ya.”

_“Like I haven’t heard that before. You’re like a bloody broken record. Alright. You wanna kill me, fine. Come and get me Brendan. I’m in the club. Familiarity is nice isn’t it? That’s where you’re life ended last time, blood stains are still on the balcony. So what are you waiting for? Come and get me Bren—“_

He was overly satisfied with hanging up on the mad man. Brendan looked around the flat for some kind of weapon. He didn’t think there was a gun here so he would have to go with something else for now. Sliding his hand under the couch, he grabbed the metal bat, gripping it firmly in his hands.

He was going to end that psycho once and for all.

Walking out of the flat, Brendan moved down the stairs with the bat in his hand. Stopping outside the front of the club and staring up at it, he died here once before but it wasn’t as nerve wracking as he thought it was going to be as he looked it over.

It was almost comforting.

They had had so many good times here; this was where he had met Steve, where they drank and fought and fucked. All the good times with Cheryl and Anne. Where he had finally stood up to his father and then watched him die. Where he had done the most selfless thing of his life when he stood out on that balcony and took that bullet for his sister.

Even though it meant giving up his happy ending.

_Villains don’t get happy endings._

He would always be the villain because no matter how hard he tried to escape the ghosts of his past, they always came back. Always. He’d never be free until he was dead.

Exhaling, Brendan finally reached up and grabbed the door, pulling it open. He slipped into the club, looking around instinctively, not only for Walker but to see what had changed while he was away. But it looked as if no one had really owned the place after him. There was a small sense of relief knowing that. This place had been his, he made it his. He never wanted to see someone else own it.

“Well, well, there he is. Finally.”

Brendan’s eyes moved forward, the grip on the bat tightening so much that his hand hurt. A small smirk crossed his face as he looked over Walker. His hair much longer than before, face covered in hair much like his own. He looked like a homeless war veteran.

“You look like shit.”

Walker tilted his head at Brendan’s works before starting to laugh. The sound was unnatural, manic. “Oh, I could say the same about you! Look at that hair, Jesus, I thought you were hairy before.”

He didn’t know why but the words brought a smile to his face. “At least I don’t look homeless.”

“Haven’t looked in a mirror just yet have you?” He sighed and pulled himself away from the counter, staring at Brendan’s face as he limped closer to him. “Oh Brendan. Are you ready to finish this?”

The Irishman lifted his metal bat and placed it on his shoulder, looking over Walker before nodding his head. He didn’t bother answering him and grabbed the bat with both hands and swung it hard. But he hit nothing but air.

Even with the prosthetic leg he was quick. Walker was lanky so it was easy for him to move fast enough to get out of the way of Brendan’s swings. But that didn’t stop him from trying.

Intense blue eyes watched as Walker moved, this time he jabbed the bat forward. He hit flesh and Simon double over with a groan, gripping at the bat with one hand as his elbow came up and slammed into the Irishman’s chin, gaining a gasp.

Brendan stumbled back a little and yanked the bat, trying to get it back. Walker let go and Brendan tumbled to the floor, head smacking hard against it. He was dazed for a moment, vision swimming in and out at he stared at the ceiling.

Walking over, he grabbed the bat and looked over at Brendan with a manic grin. “I’m going to so enjoy bashing you’re fucking head in.”

The Irishman’s lip curled as he growled at him, reaching his hand out and grabbing the prosthetic leg, pulling it out from under him. Simon hit the ground with a yelp and Brendan hurried himself to straddle the man, wrapping his hands around his throat.

Brendan’s shoulders curled as he slouched over, putting more pressure to Walker’s neck. “You killed Kieran. He didn’t deserve to die, he was young, he had so much more he could have done with his life, but you always have to come back and destroy everyt’ing! Why won’t you just stay _dead_ ?!”

A sharp blow to his head, made Brendan’s vision go black. When he opened his eyes he was laying on the floor, looking up at Walker who was gripping the bloodied bat.

“Because you didn’t stay dead Brendan. If you would have manned up and just killed yourself instead of bringing person after person into your life, they would stop dying.” He raised the bat and brought it down hard on the Irishman’s ribs. Bren could feel them shatter and the pain alone was enough to make him scream.

 

 

Ste ran as fast as he could, almost tripping over his shoes as he slammed into the side of Brendan’s car. He yanked on the door handle but it was locked. “Argh! Fucking open!” He screamed, kicking and slamming himself into the door, but it didn’t budge.

Pulling himself away, he took a moment to breath and looked around for something he could break the window with. Finally he found a good sized rock. Picking it up, he slammed it in to the passenger window. Once, twice and until it finally shattered.

“Yes!” Steven tossed the rock away and reached in, hitting the button for the locks on the door. Yanking it open he moved inside, ignoring the glass that was digging into his palms and knees as he reached under the seat as far as he could, wrapping the gun.

Sitting up he checked the clip for bullets before slamming it back in. Now he just had to find them.

Making sure the safety was on; Ste put the gun in the waist of his pants and covered it with his shirt. He turned quickly and ran back towards the flat, hoping Brendan would still be there. That he would have enough time to stop him.

“Brendan!”

He looked around the flat. It was dark; the only light shining was from Brendan’s phone that was lying face up on the table. Ste walked over, staring at the screen saver for a moment. Ste, Kieran and Brendan with all smiling faces stared back at him. He sighed a little and clicked the screen so he could read the message that was flashing on the screen.

> _[To : Brendan_
> 
> _The club. ]_

Steven stared at it for a moment. “What?” He mumbled until the sound of shouting from across the street made his head turn. It was a message from Walker, telling him where Brendan was.

The air in his chest hitched before he bolted out the door and down the stairs. He had to get in there, but there was so way he would be able to take Walker head on and Brendan could very well get in the way.

Hearing more shouts from the first floor of the club, Steven ran to the balcony stairs and climbed them as quick as he could. Stepping onto the landing, the young man walked over to the door, trying to ignore the blood stain on the concrete.

Very gently he pulled the handle of the door and stepped in; making sure it shut quiet behind him. He didn’t want to bring any attention to himself. Ste could hear Brendan screaming and it was making his chest hurt, his heart was racing so fast.

Walking onto the stairs, Ste peeked around the corner to try and see where they were. Both men were over by the front door, Walker’s back to where Ste would have been when he climbed off the stairs.

The bat came down again on Brendan’s side and he could see blood coming from his mouth. He was going to die if he didn’t do something now.  The younger man ran down the stairs the rest of the way and grabbed the gun from his waist band and held it up with both hands, flicking off the safety.

“Drop the bat and step away, now!”

Walker stopped mid-swing and turned to see who was in there. “Oooh. Look at you Steven. Being all manly, that’s a new role for you isn’t it?”

Ste growled and pulled back the hammers. “Shut up and drop the bat. I will shoot you.”

“No you won’t. You’re more of a coward than he is! Trying to kill yourself after he went away? You should have taken the chance and moved on. How many times have you told this man he’s poison? He’s cancerous? He ruins everything he touches! His children, his sister, you, even poor little Kieran—“ Simon smirked over at him as Ste’s hand faltered a little.

“He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for Brendan, so what do you say? Let me bash his head in and we’ll be done. You can move on, I can move on,” He turned and looked down at Brendan with a glare, voice going sharp, “And _you_ can finally fucking die.”

Brendan looked over at Walker and then his eyes flicked to Steven, he swallowed hard as he watched him. But the next move surprised him.

“I don’t want him dead Walker, I want you dead. You’re the reason we all keep suffering. You, because _you_ won’t say dead.” The gun lifted again and Ste pointed it at Simon’s head. “I’ll make sure you’re dead this time, even if it means I kill you myself.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Walker growled and raised the bat over Brendan with a yell, the Irishman flinched and Ste cried out. Then there was the sound of the gun going off.

It echoed around the room, making everyone deaf for a moment.

Brendan could only see a little of what was going on, but part of Walker’s head was missing now. The bat clattered to the floor as Brendan slid himself away from the man as he thudded to the ground.

Steven was breathing hard as he walked over and looked at him, firing another bullet into his head. The action was cold, but Brendan could see that Ste was shaking hard.

“W-Wipe the gun off—“ He whispered and Steven did as he was told, wiping the gun off on his shirt and dropping it to the ground. He took a step back and walked over to Brendan, leaning down to look him over.

“Can we please run away now?”

Bren looked him over and nodded a little. “Yes.”


End file.
